"Never cut what you can untie."
- Joseph Joubert.
Couples Counseling/Marriage Therapy
Problems in Marriage and Romantic Relationships
When relationships are strained, it is usually because one or both people have lost the ability to trust. In an effort to protect ourselves from being too vulnerable and getting hurt, we tend to use two main strategies.
- We either move away from each other, creating feelings of isolation and emptiness or
- We move against each other, fighting without resolution.
In some couples, there is a combination of both. In others, each person takes a different strategy, so that one always withdraws and the other always fights.
How Can Therapy Help?
Therapy provides a place to develop a third strategy - moving towards each other. In therapy, couples learn skills to help each other:
- Feel safe enough to express their needs, wants and hopes
- Develop greater awareness of the subtle moments when they feel triggered and react protectively
- Learn to help each other talk through those triggers to develop greater understanding and emotional connection
Couples therapy can also help:
- decrease repetitive arguing
- increase clear, kindhearted communication
- restore physical and emotional intimacy
- bring back fun and playfulness
- rebuild trust and security - especially after an affair
- and enhance feelings of love, connection and worth
Relationship Counseling for Adult Family Members and Close Friends
Any of our close relationships can become vulnerable to problems like:
- Misunderstandings
- Hurt Feelings
- Unresolved Arguments
- Competition
- Jealousy
- Difficulty with trust
We need to create emotional safety and kindness in all of our close relationships - especially with family members and long-time friendships. When anger and hurt get in the way of clear communication, it's helpful to have a neutral third party who can help each of you
- Take ownership/responsibility for your part in the problem
- Make a committment to understanding the other person, even if they disagree
- Learn communication skills to set the boundaries you need without stepping the other person's feelings
- Manage disappointment when the other person isn't available to meet your needs
- Discover what you (and they) need to feel genuinely loved and cared for
- Communicate what you need openly and tolerate feelings of vulnerability
Please note, I work with adult clients, 18 and over. If you need family counseling involving children or teens, I am happy to refer you to a colleague.
Schedule Consultation
Find out if therapy can help. Call for a free 30-minute consultation: (925)518-4072 or begin the scheduling process online by clicking here: Schedule Consultation.
For additional help, read Julie's Articles for Couples
Tools to Strengthen Relationship
Moving from Hurt or Anger to Love
Understanding Jealousy
Control Issues
Making Your Relationship a Safe Haven
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