Help for People with Toxic, Shaming, Critical, Narcissistic, or Borderline Parents
If you grew up with parents who were emotionally abusive or neglectful, addicted or mentally ill, or if they were just self-absorbed, shaming, or overly critical, you may be struggling with:
Self absorbed parents are often people who were neglected themselves in childhood. They expect perfection and high performance from their kids (who they see as an extension of themselves). But they don't know how to provide guidance and support. And they don't know how to normalize mistakes and imperfection.
Growing up with toxic or personality disordered parents leaves us feeling like we have to be perfect all the time - but also like we don't have the skills or abilities it takes to achieve perfection. We may believe that needing help is a sign of weakness or a burden on others. Low self esteem, feelings of shame, or lack of self-worth make it even harder to live up to impossible standards. Those who manage to achieve, often become addicted to work and achievement. But no matter how successful they become, they never feel good enough.
It's important to learn how to reparent yourself with respect and gentleness. You may need a safe place to explore and heal the pain of early criticism, shaming, and emotional deprivation. Therapy is a great place to learn the skills you missed out on in childhood. And it's a place to develop the loving, accepting inner parent you never had as a child.
If You Take Care of An Elderly Toxic Parent
Caring for a parent who was emotionally abusive or unavailable can bring up intense feelings of anger, grief, resentment, and frustration. It's even worse if people who don't know your history can't understand your feelings. If your parent is still abusive, demanding, or resistant to your way of giving care, it's like being abused all over again. Taking care of someone who hurt you feels like a betrayal of your very own self. Therapy provides a place to tell your truth - where you will be understood and validated. You may learn new ways to set boundaries so that you don't have to keep paying a price, just for being born.
Find out if therapy can help. Call for a free 30-minute consultation: (925)335-6441
or begin the scheduling process online by clicking here: Schedule Consultation
. I generally respond to inquiries within 2 business days. You can also check my current availability here.
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