Help for People with Toxic, Shaming, Critical, Narcissistic, or Borderline Parents
If you grew up with parents who had personality disorders (especialy Narcissim or Borderline Personality Disorder), or if they were just self-absorbed or overly critical, you may be suffering from:
Self absorbed parents are often people who were neglected themselves in childhood. They expect perfection and high performance from their kids (who they see as an extension of themselves). But they don't know how to provide guidance and support. And they don't know how to normalize mistakes and imperfection.
Growing up with toxic or personality disordered parents leaves us feeling like we have to be perfect all the time - but also like we don't have the skills or abilities it takes to achieve perfection. We may believe that needing help is a sign of weakness or a burden on others. Low self esteem, feelings of shame, or lack of self-worth make it even harder to live up to impossible standards. Those who manage to achieve, often become addicted to work and achievement. But no matter how successful they become, they never feel good enough.
It's important to learn how to reparent yourself with respect and gentleness. You may need a safe place to explore and heal the pain of early criticism, shaming, and emotional deprivation. Therapy is a great place to learn the skills you missed out on in childhood. And it's a place to develop the loving, accepting inner parent you never had as a child.
If You Take Care of An Elderly Toxic Parent
If you provide care for a parent who is (or was) toxic, shaming, or critical, you may want to check out my support group for Caregivers of Difficult Parents/Elders.
Find out if therapy can help. Call for a free 30-minute consultation: (925)335-6441
or begin the scheduling process online by clicking here: Schedule Consultation
. I generally respond to inquiries and consulation requests on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, and will contact you as soon as possible. You can also check my current availability here.
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