Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away. - Barbara De Angelis
Therapy for Women
Where are my Socks?
Are you the wise and knowing finder of all things? Do you somehow manage to do laundry for three or four people while emailing your boss a status report AND saving the planet? Do you look in the mirror and instead of seeing a person, see wrinkles or acne (or both)?
Then you must be a woman.
Being Good May be Bad for Your Health
As women, we are entrained to take it all on with a smile. On TV, women manage to run companies, raise families, have sex every night and do it all in a size 2 mini skirt with 5-inch heels. And somehow, we feel like we have to live up to that image. It's no wonder women are facing more heart disease, diabetes and cancers. We're wearing ourselves out!
What are we Striving For?
The media messages reflect cultural values that were instilled in many of us growing up. Our own moms were likely subjected to the same messages:
- be popular, pretty and sexy BUT
- don't be a slut
- be successful BUT
- don't overshadow men
- don't be a burden BUT
- don't be too independent
I could go on, but you already know what I'm talking about.
Never Enough
With all these messages floating around your unconscious (plus having to find everyone's socks), you may have no idea what YOU really want and need to be happy. Or you may know exactly what you want but feel like you can't have it.
For many of us happiness was something to be earned - the reward at the end of the "good job." The only trouble is, the work never ends. You can never be thin enough, have a clean enough house, work hard enough. And if you have kids, they'll be the first to tell you that you're a terrible mother and you NEVER let them do anything.
Even if you don't get these messages from others, they may still come in the form of guilt. We worry about neglecting our kids, our significant others, our parents, our jobs, our figures, our kitchen floors.
Finding Your True Voice
We need a safe place to get quiet and figure out what we really want - especially if "having it all" is killing us. Therapy provides a haven where you can just be (and not do). You may discover old feelings of sadness or anger that you've buried just to get through the day. It's a relief to let this go. And, as you learn to quiet your inner critic and listen to your inner wisdom, you may find that you have a lot more options than you realized.
Therapy can help you:
- Let go of perfectionism and feel more relaxed
- Focus on your needs - so you can CHOOSE to be there for others without resentment
- Find ways to say NO and still maintain good relationships
- Ask for help in ways that work (and manage disappointment when others can't come through)
- Shift negative messages and self-limiting beliefs you were given as a kid
- Take care of yourself with as much (or more) tenderness and patience as you do others
- Feel deserving
- Say YES to people and activities that make you feel alive, nurtured and supported
- Just BE and stop doing so much
Schedule Consultation
Find out if therapy makes sense for you. You can call for a free 30-minute consultation: (925)518-4072 or begin the scheduling process online by clicking here: Schedule Consultation
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