After studying attachment theory with Stan Tatkin (Wired for Love), I realized that the work I'd been doing in my own therapy was solidly grounded in attachment theory. Where Tatkin applies the psychobiology of attachment to couples, I began applying the same principles to my clients' inner attachment — the relationship they have with themselves.
I call this process Attachment Informed Reparenting (AIR). The work is both top down (teaching new ways of thinking and understanding) and bottom up (listening to and honoring body wisdom). Similar to IFS, we listen to parts including your inner critic, your wise adult self, and various inner children — from toddlers to teens. Unlike IFS, this work sees parts through a developmental lens. The job of your newly emerging inner parent/wise adult is to provide the support that younger parts of you needed and didn't receive for whatever reason.
As you give yourself (and receive) your own kindness, care, warmth, gentleness, and cherishing reliably and constantly over time, something profound happens. You learn to trust yourself. You learn that you deserve kindness and respect. You learn that you are the source of your emotional security. From this steady, strong, grounded place, it becomes much easier to set boundaries and be true to yourself, allowing others to be disappointed without fear or guilt.
The work I do is holistic, integrating attachment-based work with somatic awareness, EMDR, hypnotherapy, and parts work.
My work is grounded in social justice, feminist theory, and the decolonization of the mind — helping clients become more aware of unhealthy societal norms that pressure us to turn against ourselves, separating us from the natural world, and trying to tame us out of the wildness that is the seed of our creativity, play, and joy.
In 2021 I authored the book, After 40: Meaning of Life Journal, focused on helping people lean into self-nurturing and self-cherishing as they find more meaning and purpose in midlife. I also write poetry and published my first collection of poems in my mid fifties. Now, in my early sixties, I am working with visual arts, primarily drawing — giving myself time to create and play as I nourish and nurture my own inner child.